Quote for the Week

~ Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain.  

It is a sorting process.  

One by one you let go of things that are gone 

and you mourn for them.  

One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of 

who you are and build again.

~  Rachel Naomi Remen

What did you learn today? Share 3 things...

We are constantly evolving and changing.  As we live each day we grow, we learn, we change.  One of my favorite quotes is:

~ You Learn By Living. There is no experience from which you can’t learn something. When you stop learning you stop living in any vital and meaningful sense. And the purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for the newer and richer experiences. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

3 things I learned today:

How to connect a wireless printer to my computer

That I need to exercise more patience, as I need to share computer time when I am at home
How to use quotation marks correctly with commas, semi colons, periods etc.

Okay, now it's your turn...share 3 things you learned today.  You can share anonymously if you want.

Supporting You on Your Healing Quest

If You had a Superpower, What Would It Be?

Recently, I was in a classroom where the teacher asked the class of teens this question. I thought it was a great exercise and the teens thought it was a fun question to ponder.  Some of their answers where:

• The power to fly
• The power of invisibility
• The power of reading minds
• The power to clone

It caused me to think about the times in our lives when we want to be able to do something to change a situation we are dealing with; unfortunately sometimes the power to do so is out of our reach. We are unable to effect the change we want.  When that happens we may say to ourselves, if only I had the power to...

Acceptance of our situations, circumstances, and issues can be difficult, but going back to an earlier post on what if and the miracle question, if we choose to change one thing, there is often a domino effect or a shift that takes place.  One small change can alter your thoughts, your perspective, your stress level, your motivation, your feelings, or your physiological response to a person or situation.   You may not have your desired superpower, but you do have incredible power within...to change what you need to, for yourself, as you take the best care of you.

But take a moment, think about it... if you had a superpower, what would it be?  Please to leave a comment below; you can do it anonymously if you want.

By the way, mine would be to have the ability to travel back and forth in time.


Supporting You on Your Healing Quest

Quote for the Week

~ Your time is limited; don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma, 

which is the result of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown 

your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and 

intuition, they already know what you truly want to become 


~ Steve Jobs 

What are you grateful for? Share 4 things...

Some bloggers blog lists of things they appreciate, notice, care about, feel grateful for etc.  I thought I would try it and see if you will join me.

I wonder how often we really consciously focus on what we are grateful for.  As we think about what we are grateful for, we become more present.  We connect to the people and things that we appreciate and would not want to be/live without.


How do we communicate our gratefulness?
Do we tell people how much they mean to us?
Do we handle the things that are important to us with care?
Do we take care of ourselves enough so we can experience the things and people we are grateful for?

Today I am grateful for:

A beautiful cool fall day
Close people in my life who love and support me
Laughing girls in the next room
My compassion and ability that help and support others

Okay, now it's your turn...share 4 things you are grateful for below.  You can share anonymously if you want.

Supporting You on Your Healing Quest

Transforming Pain, Into A Gift

Gift by Anna Cervova

Earlier this year, I watched a webinar about grief and trauma therapy by Donald Meichenbaum Ph.D.  Dr. Meichenbaum is one of the founders of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and presently he is research director of the Melissa Institute.

During the webinar, he talked about encouraging people to find healing through transforming their pain into a gift for others.  He discussed how people who have lived through horrible experiences do this all the time, and how it's impact on their healing is profound.

As I was listening to him speak, it made me think about how we each have an opportunity to reach out and share our experiences and stories with others. Sometimes through our own healing from trauma and/or grief, we try to communicate to others, that someone else understands, has been there, and knows how it can feel and what it is like. We seek this as we heal, but we can also give it while we heal.

There are many ways to transform your pain into a gift for another.  Many people around me do this often.  Some examples that come to mind are:

• a women who walks for an annual breast cancer fundraiser with her family, in remembrance of her sister who died from breast cancer
• a man who becomes a sponsor for another man who is in early recovery from cocaine addiction
• a disabled veteran who volunteers at the VA with other disabled veterans
• a woman who leads a support group for other women who have struggled with infertility, just as she has
• a man who volunteers at a homeless shelter...the one he used to stay at, years ago  
• a women who returns to school in order to become a substance abuse counselor, because through her own sobriety she wants to share hope and recovery with others
• a woman who writes a blog about her journey with her teenage son who has mental illness, in hopes to not only help her heal, but to reach out to other parents who struggle with the same issues.
• a man who serves on a suicide hotline to help others work through those incredibly depressive moments.  He found hope through his moments and wants to share that hope with others.

When painful things happen in your life, you may often feel alone and think no one can possibly understand what you feel inside.  It is true, no one knows exactly what your pain is, just as no one will heal quite like you.  Everyone's journey is different, everyone's experience is their own, and everyone's quest for change and healing is unique.  However, when you share your pain and healing with others, powerful things happen. Knowing that someone has been there...is healing.  When you connect with others through your pain, it transforms. A deeper healing takes place for you as you help another.  Your healing can become a gift, one of acknowledgment, acceptance, understanding, support and grace for someone else.  What an incredible gift you give.


Supporting You on Your Healing Quest

Quote for the Week

~ When you get to the end of the light you know and it's time to step  

into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things 

 shall happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on,  

or you will be taught how to fly.  


~ Physicist Edward Teller 

The Power of One...The Power of You

The little things you do each day, have the power to effect a great many people.  You can inspire with your willingness and ability to help others.  You can take on the world one day at a time, continuously searching for a way to make things better, seizing the opportunity to improve everyday life.  You Can, and Do Make A World Of Difference!


Supporting You on our Healing Quest

Who and what are you grateful for?

Today is a special day, when I reflect on who and what I am grateful for.

I know at times in our lives, reflecting like this can be a daunting and difficult task. This is usually when we are not feeling our best, when things in our life are not going how we would like, or we are suffering through something, whether it be loss, grief, rejection, jealousy, or transition. It's difficult when we are not feeling good about life to identify and embrace the things that ARE positive about our lives.  The things we may feel privileged to have, feel grateful for, or feel deeply blessed by.

Asking yourself what is good, what is working, who is precious, and what you can be grateful for, helps to put things into perspective even in your most difficult times.  It is an exercise that lends you to not lose sight of the positives in your life even when they may feel very far away.

Today is a day I love to celebrate.  I reflect on a special gift I was given...a gift that has changed my life in profound ways. The gift is someone who has blessed my life abundantly.  I tell this someone often, "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.  You are my precious, precious gift." I cherish this precious gift.  I love this gift and I am profoundly grateful for this gift.

What gifts have you received?  What has brought you so much happiness, love, security, opportunity, richness, healing and blessings in your life that you are grateful for?

Write a comment below and share something or someone you feel grateful for.


Supporting You on Your Healing Quest

Quote for the Week

~  Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

~  Aristotle 

Everyone has shame; You are not alone

Recently I was talking with a friend, about shame and how it is a normal universal thing that gets labeled as dysfunctional and has stigma.  But isn't it true that you, me, all of us have moments when we feel like we are not okay, something is wrong with us, we fear rejection and judgement, we have thoughts about being inadequate and we may even say to ourselves or others..."I don't know what is wrong with me."

We have those moments when we look around and we think and say to ourselves, "Oh wow, does she seem to have it all together." or "He makes this all look so easy." or "I wish I was as comfortable as she is."  When we experience these moments, we really miss the boat, as we stand on the shore of self judgement. We forget to say to ourselves, "I bet I am not the only one who is feeling totally nervous and sick to my stomach." or, "I wonder if she ever feels stressed out." or "I know that he has to have some bad days, sometime."   The yardstick of measurement we put next to ourselves is often different or non existent to those around us.

I know this woman who has 5 children, who range from age 4-14 years old.  She is compassionate, patient, loving, intelligent, giving, spiritual, happy, and incredibly complimentary.  The best adjective I can describe her with is sweet.  She is quite amazing and I am blessed to know her.  When I first met her, I was struck with ALL of her strengths.  She seemed so incredibly put together.  But all I saw were her strengths.  I have never been in a situation where she could not be described with all of these positive adjectives.  But one day it finally clicked for me...I realized that she is human and she has 5 kids! I imagine there are times when she is feeling a lot of stress and may be impatient, or angry, or frustrated, or possibly may feel the need to flick off someone in traffic.  If I compare myself to her perfect self, the only part I witness, I will always come up short.  Instead I need to be realistic and compare apples to apples.

Shame is powerful and destructive when we self judge unfairly.  We internalize negative messages and beliefs about not being good enough, defective, wrong, less than, failing, missing the mark, unable, unacceptable etc.

One of the reasons I love Brene Brown's work is because she normalizes shame and our human need to hustle for acceptance.  We all have done it and we all do it.  We do it with our kids, our friends, family, colleagues. Every time:

• we say yes and we could kick ourselves because we really wanted to say no
• each time we give in or back down for the sake of peace and acceptance
• every time we sugarcoat something so the other person won't judge
• every time we withhold or lie by omission to avoid judgement

we are hustling for acceptance.  We need the acceptance because there is something inside that feels uncomfortable that we don't like...our shame.

Once you work through your shame and grow to like yourself, accept yourself and love yourself, the hustling doesn't need to happen.  With true self acceptance, you have resilience and you have a cheerleader who is the loudest, strongest and wisest of all...YOU!  One of the most awesome sounds is, your internal voice shouting, "you are okay just the way you are and it is wonderful to be you."

How often do you hear it?

Supporting You on Your Healing Quest 

Amazing Journeys: If you believe you can achieve

Each year, monarch butterflies in Maine begin on an unbelievable journey to a hilltop in Mexico.  How do they do it?  They focus on their goal...not their difficulties or barriers.  Each day as the travel, they allow their instincts and desires to steer them. They accept what comes; some winds blow them off course, others speed them along. They keep flying continuing the long journey until, one day, they arrive.

We have much to learn from their strength, endurance, bravery, and determination. Even though all of our journeys are unique, I find it comforting that the butterflies stay close, support, and make the long journey together. Hopefully you too, have someone close to you who supports you in your journey.  Enjoy learning about their amazing journey and see the beauty they possess.

Supporting You on Your Healing Quest

Quote for the Week

~  Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.   


~  Mark Twain